Encyclopedia Marysuenica

Severus Snape is a character on the sueniverse played by his imaginary sister Jess.


Adrien Brody in "The Village" Photoshopped to be used as Severus Snape

Severus Snape has been described a million different times, mostly the same way. Snape is normally seen with shoulder length wavy greasy black hair. His eyes are black and sunken. They were described in this way in the Harry Potter series:

"His eyes were black like Hagrid’s, but they had none of Hagrid’s warmth. They were cold and empty and made you think of dark tunnels" (SS8).

His skin is commonly described as sallow and pale whilst his teeth are uneven, with a yellowish tint. One distingushing feature that has caused years of torment for him would be his long hooked nose.

He is very rarely seen out of his "robes", which consist of black pants, a black vest, black undershirt and a black overcoat that looks to be more of a cape than anything. (The full itinerary of this ensemble was only realized after Magda von Waldemann, his only real lover ever, attempted to undress him and realized there were far more layers than she'd surmised.)

When he started on the Verse, he was represtented by Alan Rickman (who portrays him in the film versions of the books), but after a phone conversation between Jess and Megan where Megan remarked about how she believed someone younger than Rickman should have played Snape in the movies, notably Adrien Brody, his avatar was soon changed to a highly Photoshopped version of Adrien Brody in The Village.

It hasn't stopped changing since.


Snape began his career on the Sueniverse almost immediately out of character. He was found drinking butterbeer (each with two shots of vodka) in Hogsmeade, something he would normally have never done, he was soon accompanied by Sisi, the deceased ex-Empress of Austria. They soon found themselves slightly tipsy and made there way back to his house, only to fade out.

His usual expressions of his personality consist of dry wit, sarcastic comments and rude remarks. He's rarely seen without a scowl and finds most of the world quite unnecessary. Although he is outwardly more pathetic than his book counterpart, he knows it, and this can be attributed to the fact that he appears in the books only from the point of view of a student looking at a hated teacher.

Snape, as drawn by Megan the Suethor.

This is no better shown then when he falls on his knees in the cellars begging for forgiveness and friendship from Megan Kroger.


Snape ran after her and grabbed her by the arm and fell to his knees.


Snape looked up at her, the tears staining his face.

"I'm a 35 year old man begging at the feet of an 18-year-old girl, asking for mercy! Do you think I like this? You like seeing me broken and on my knees, don't you? DON'T YOU!?" he screamed at her, his voice cracking.

He still continued to be a genuinely terrible man, uncaring to what other felt or were feeling at the time.

Snape tried to suppress his laughter. He was feeling particularly vicious that day.

"We all don't want to be what we are, Beatrice."

He looked her dead in the eye.

"But we have to deal with ourselves none the same."

He sat back and looked down at the parchment. "There's a lot of fixing I have to do. How much money do you have?"

He allowed a smirk to come to his face.

His kinder side is only shown to a few, including his lost sisters Jess Cartwright and Jenn Cartwright and his girlfriend and lover Magda von Waldemann.


The version of Severus Snape was created by Jess and based loosely off of the character in the book and movie series Harry Potter.

Snape in the novels was born to Tobias Snape (a Muggle) and Eileen Prince (a witch). However, in the Sueniverse it is later revealed that Eileen and Tobias had actually kidnapped him from a woman (she hid her witchcraft from her family) in America, who just happened to be his Suethor Jess's and her sister Jenn's mother, who was married to a wizard at the time before meeting their father. If he had stayed with his family he would have been named Malcomb Michael Peterson. [1]

His adoptive father was a tyrant of a man who would force young Severus to dance for his meals, and if he made one mistake, the child would either be beaten or locked up with no food. His mother most likely had good intentions, but feared Tobias and never fought back against him when he attacked Severus. This has caused Snape to have a life long hatred of Tom Jones and sixties beach music.

As a teenager he was sent to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As was remarked by Sirius Black, "Snape’s always been fascinated by the Dark Arts, he was famous for it at school", as well as "[He] knew more curses when he arrived at school than half the kids in the seventh year..." [2]

His interest in the Dark Arts, however, stemmed mostly from an intense need to impress his childhood friend Lily Evans, whom he had loved since the age of nine. Ironically, it was his embrace of these practices that drove Lily away from him and ended their friendship.

Snape as a student. Art by Linnpuzzle.

He never quite realized that his becoming a Death Eater would never win her love, and after they left school, their paths diverged. Lily ended up marrying James Potter, a boy whom she had once hated but grew to love deeply, and Snape became a Death Eater.

Due to a tragic turn of events, Voldemort set his sights on murdering a boy who had barely begun to live. That boy, as we all know, was Harry Potter, the son of Snape's lifelong enemy James Potter and Lily Evans. Out of concern for Lily, Snape defected from the Death Eaters, but it was too late. Voldemort killed both James and Lily while attempting to get to their infant son. Harry survived due to the powerful enchantment created by his mother's willingness to lay down her life for him.

Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts, convinced Snape to allow his continuing love for Lily to lead him to protect the boy, in spite of the strong mutual hate that developed between Snape and Harry and Snape's need to continue to appear faithful to Voldemort in order to allow his secret protection to continue.


All seven of the Harry Potter novels show Snape to be a very powerful wizard, and to have been talented while a student. He specializes in potion-making and has a talent and passion for the Dark Arts. As a student at Hogwarts he is shown to have a gift for creating new spells, including Sectumsempra and the non-verbal Levicorpus and Liberacorpus. Skilful in the arts of Legilimency and Occlumency, Snape is able to both access the minds of others, and protect his own thoughts. Indeed, though Snape does not care for the term himself, Harry forms the uncomfortable impression early in the series that the Potions master is able to "read minds." As an Occlumens, Snape is able to keep his betrayal from Voldemort, a very skilled Legilimens.[23] Snape is the only Death Eater able to produce a Patronus.[39] Snape is shown to be a talented duellist, able to hold off by himself (if only briefly) a group of three Hogwarts Professors that included former duelling champion Filius Flitwick.[31]

On the Sueniverse, he is also shown to be able to turn red wine into white wine and vice-versa, repair torn clothing, and fly without support. Magda could probably add a few more things to this list, but you really don't want to know.


As stated before, Severus' first foray in to the Sueniverse was a drunken escapade with Sisi. Their general distaste for each other never truly left during their whole meeting, yet seemingly with every sarcastic remark they grew closer together until they finally made it to his home in Spinner's End using a carriage that seemed to fly at lightning speed.

"I hope that you aren't implying anything, because--"

He found himself drifting to the bed, as if he had no control over his own feet.

This isn't happening, this isn't happening, he thought to himself.

He sat down and looked over to the woman. He placed his hand on her cheek and almost blushed.

"Although you're a spoiled brat, it doesn't take from your beauty."

The next women he became involved with was Satan herself, literally. After meeting at a convention for Royalty, both of which were there on technicalities, they made their way back to Snape's office in the cellars where they made love on his desk.


It was a long and difficult process to get to the hillarious, gross yet endearing relationship that is Snape and Magda (Or Snagda). It began with his decision to get a haircut and just happened to go to Sweeney Todd's barbershop where Magda lay on a couch cleaning her nails.[4]. His initial reaction to her was her striking resemblance to his lost love Lily.

Magda (Katja Berg) and Snape (Adrien Brody).

Soon after their first meeting Magda dropped in through the ceiling of Snapes bathroom while he was bathing where she basically seduced him in to bed and left him, considering him a conquest. Before she left she said, "You know what's really adorable?...That you believed me when I said I loved you. That was so cute!"

...He stood there for a moment before remarking "You believed it before you did."

Their reconcilation came in the thread "[Flying over Paris]".


Snape is simply trying to stay sane.

It's enough that he's himself, he now has a half crazed housekeeper who has built an underground apartment to stay away from him, but mostly Magda and he thinks is planning on bringing an inmate from the asylum back there. And a girlfriend who's so intent on trying to find a way for her to concieve a child (female vampires can not hold a human child) that she has been plunged into madness by her adopted child's rejection, has thrown him in to a strange fit of melancholy that only a Snape can be in.

Recently Magda had begun holding on to a poor boy named Toby and grew attached him, like he was her son. But due to a strange turn of events he was turned in to a vampire by his ex girlfriend Beatrice.

Snape tried to stay out of the conversation when Madga found out about Toby being turned. He did little but to provide sarcastic comments and give Toby a beer (which Magda was completely against, which Snape eventually drank himself).

Later Toby and Magda had a falling out at the Kit Kat Klub, which she managed briefly.

Snape being himself didn't know about the falling out until two very bothersome children (One being Adam the Antichrist and his little friend Pepper) came to, well- bother him.

He wasn't quite sure about the boy, he silently prayed that he wasn't the offspring of that one night with Satan.

Magda soon poisoned herself out of grief, and Crowley promptly arrived to inform Snape he was the worst boyfriend ever.

The Fellatio Heard Around the Sueniverse[]

THe Fellatio Heard Around the Sueniverse began on page 15 of "[Snape Dungeon Office]" and finished in the thread "[An Attempt to Make Others Hurk. Har Har.]". It really, truly disgusted most of those who read it. Jess and Megan were laughing too hard to care how much they wanted to hurl themselves.

The Most Glorious Mustache Ever[]

Snape had a dream one night, a dream that would change the course of a couple days forever, he had a [dream] that he grew a mustache, a mustache that was said to be "the most glorious mustache ever".

Of course, once again, being himself, he isn't exactly the kind of man who could, or should, grow facial hair. He came home after a long day at the office (what he does there, well no one asks) only to have his [dreams of a mustache] crushed by Magda.

Magda's eyebrows had arched themselves in severe confusion.

"Hyou ave, er, somesink..."

She gestured vaguely at her mouth. Snape wiped his lip and made an "O" with his mouth "Oh this" he pointed to his lip where a very, VERY thin layer of hair now lay.

"Hyes. Sat."

She stared.

"Whats wrong?" [Snape Asked]

"Is sat intentional?" she asked slowly.

He has yet to "actually" shave it, every time he does, he gets interrupted, only solidifying to him, that it's destiny.

Outside the Sueniverse[]

Jess the Suethor as Severus Snape, Halloween 2007

Severus Snape is introduced in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone as the first named Hogwarts’ teacher in the story when Harry Potter arrives at the school. Snape is the Potions Master at Hogwarts, though he is widely rumoured to want the post of Professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts. Snape himself confirms the rumour in a later book. Snape is a malicious, partisan teacher, and makes frequent snide and disparaging remarks at Harry's expense. Snape quickly becomes one of the the main antagonists of the book as Harry suspects him of plotting to steal the Philosopher's stone, and of attempting to kill him. During a Quidditch game, Snape appears to be muttering a jinx which makes Harry's broom shake wildly. In fact, Professor Quirrell, in league with Voldemort, is the one working the jinx on Harry, while Snape is muttering a counter-jinx. In the book's final chapter, Dumbledore suggests that because Harry's father saved Snape's life even though the two detested each other, Snape protected Harry as a way to balance the scales. As the final book reveals, this is not the full story. In any case, even after Quirrell reveals himself as the real enemy, Harry retains lingering feelings of suspicion and resentment towards Snape, and their relationship remains tense. Snape's behaviour and attitude towards Harry also remain unchanged.

Snape plays a minor role in both Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. In Chamber of Secrets, Snape helps Gilderoy Lockhart oversee Hogwarts' short-lived Duelling Club, but has little interaction with the main plot. In Prisoner of Azkaban, Snape's expertise with potions is utilised to brew Wolfsbane Potion for Remus Lupin. Snape harbours a deep suspicion throughout the third book that Lupin may be assisting Sirius Black in entering Hogwarts castle, believing that Black intends to kill Harry. This suspicion stems from Lupin's friendship with Sirius and Harry's father James while they were all at Hogwarts as students. Near the climax of the book, Snape attempts to apprehend Black. Snape believes Black is responsible for murdering innocent bystanders and betraying the Potter family's hiding place to Voldemort. When Black escapes, Snape rightly accuses Harry of aiding him, still believing that Black is a mass murderer. After Harry and Lupin escape punishment for their actions, Snape reveals to the entire school that Lupin is a werewolf in retaliation, forcing the latter to resign his post as Professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts.

Prisoner of Azkaban reveals more details about the connection between Snape and James Potter. While in school together, Sirius once tricked Snape into going to the Shrieking Shack while Lupin was there, transformed into a werewolf. James realised the danger and stopped Snape, saving his life. Snape, however, believes James's actions were self-serving, to avoid being expelled.

Snape's role in the fourth novel, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is not substantially different from that of the previous two books. Although he is apoplectic when Harry is unexpectedly entered into the Triwizard Tournament, this only makes him even more vindictive than usual. Later Harry uses Dumbledore's Pensieve to view memories of several Death Eater trials from years before. At one point, Snape is named as a Death Eater by Igor Karkaroff, but Dumbledore comes to Snape's defence, claiming that although Snape had indeed been a Death Eater, he changed sides before Voldemort's downfall and turned spy against him. Dumbledore assures Harry that Snape's reformation is genuine, though he refuses to tell Harry how he knows this, saying the information "is a matter between Professor Snape and myself".

At the end of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Dumbledore attempts to convince a disbelieving Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge, that Lord Voldemort has returned. As proof, Snape willingly shows Fudge the renewed Dark Mark on his arm, and is subsequently sent on a secret mission by Dumbledore. This mission, as implied in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and revealed in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, was to rejoin the Death Eaters and spy on Voldemort as a triple agent, pretending to spy on Dumbledore on behalf of Voldemort.

In the fifth novel, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Snape returns to a more prominent role. With Voldemort having returned to a fully corporeal body, Snape continues working as a triple agent for Dumbledore. He is seen prior to the start of school at Number 12, Grimmauld Place giving reports to the Order of the Phoenix. He does not get along with other members of the Order, and has a very strained relation with Sirius Black, who owns Grimmauld Place and must remain there in hiding. The two trade frequent snide remarks and insults, and at one point almost begin a duel. Snape taunts Sirius about Sirius not being able to take an active role in the Order's missions due to his fugitive status, and Harry felt that this contributed to Sirius' willingness to take unsafe risks. Many members of the Order voice doubts about Snape, but remark that Dumbledore trusts him, though they seem to be at a loss to understand why. Back at school, Snape's official allegiance to the Order has no effect on his dislike for Harry, whom he victimises as never before.

Later in the book, Dumbledore has Snape teach Harry Occlumency, the protection of the mind from outside intrusion or influence. Snape is extremely skilled in both Occlumency and its companion art of Legilimency, the discerning of thoughts and feelings from another's mind; both invaluable in his work as a spy. The sessions are made difficult by their mutual hostility and end prematurely when Harry uses Dumbledore's Pensieve to view, without Snape's permission, a childhood memory of Snape being bullied by James Potter and Sirius Black, and of him insulting Lily Evans (Harry's mother). After this incident, Snape grows even more vindictive towards Harry, at one point deliberately breaking one of his bottles of potion to ensure he fails an assignment.

When Professor Umbridge captures Harry and questions him on the whereabouts of Albus Dumbledore, she sends for Snape to provide a truth serum to force Harry to reveal any information he may be hiding. Snape claims that his supplies of Veritaserum are exhausted, used up when she last attempted to surreptitiously drug Harry to get information out of him, and withholds further assistance: "Unless you wish to poison Potter—and I assure you I would have the greatest sympathy with you if you did—I cannot help you." (It is later revealed that he had in fact supplied Umbridge with fake Veritaserum on that prior attempt, although as Harry did not drink it, neither of them discovered this deception). Snape carries Harry's cryptic warning about Sirius's capture to the other Order members, allowing them to come to the rescue in the Department of Mysteries.

In the opening chapters of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Bellatrix Lestrange and Narcissa Malfoy visit Snape at his home in Spinner's End. Narcissa's son Draco has been given a difficult task by Voldemort, and Narcissa swears Snape to an Unbreakable Vow that he will protect Draco, help him complete Voldemort's task, and finish the task himself if Draco fails. Snape claims to have been working for Voldemort (rather than for Dumbledore) ever since Voldemort's return, and explains his actions in the previous books in that light.

At the Start-of-term feast at Hogwarts, Dumbledore announces he has finally appointed Snape as Professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts. Horace Slughorn, a retired Hogwarts teacher, replaces Snape as Potions Master. Slughorn lends Harry an old Potions textbook, in which Harry finds marginalia including a variety of hexes and jinxes seemingly invented by an unknown student, and substantial improvements to the book's standard potion-making instructions. The book is inscribed "Property of the Half-Blood Prince." The notes greatly bolster Harry's performance and he impresses Slughorn. Snape, who maintains that he "never had the impression that [he] had been able to teach Potter anything at all", is suspicious of Harry's newfound potions success.

Later, in a fight with Draco Malfoy, Harry casts one of the Prince's spells (Sectumsempra) marked "For Enemies" and is horrified when it causes devastating wounds to Draco's face and chest. Snape arrives and heals Draco's wounds, then interrogates Harry about the source of the spell, using Legilimency to extract the source of Harry's knowledge (the Potions textbook) from Harry's mind. As Harry refuses to hand over the Half-Blood Prince's book, Snape puts him in detention during the final Quidditch match of the year.

Returning to Hogwarts after a search for one of Voldemort's Horcruxes, Harry and Dumbledore alight on the school's astronomy tower. Gravely weakened by Voldemort's protective potion, Dumbledore asks Harry to fetch Snape. Before Harry can leave, Draco Malfoy suddenly arrives intending to carry out Voldemort's ordered assassination of Dumbledore, but cannot bring himself to commit the murder. The arrival of Death Eaters and Snape interrupt them. When it is clear that Malfoy will not kill Dumbledore, Snape kills the headmaster himself. An enraged Harry (who had been paralysed by Dumbledore and witnessed the killing while under his invisibility cloak) chases Snape, Malfoy, and the Death Eaters as they flee the castle. Snape easily blocks Harry's attempts to attack him with magic and even points out Harry's mistakes, but refuses to strike back. During the confrontation, Snape reveals himself to be the "Half-Blood Prince" (being the son of Muggle Tobias Snape and pure-blood Eileen Prince). Harry is unable to stop Snape before the latter passes through the school gates and Disapparates.

It is revealed in the final book of the series that Dumbledore had been afflicted by a powerful curse cast on the Peverell ring, one of Voldemort's Horcruxes, prior to the start of Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts. Although Snape's knowledge of the Dark Arts enabled him to slow the spread of the curse, Snape could not stop it and the curse would have killed Dumbledore within a year. Dumbledore, aware that Voldemort had ordered Draco Malfoy to kill him, asked Snape to kill him instead before the curse spread, as an act of mercy. Although Snape was reluctant, he agreed to do as Dumbledore requested.

In the aerial battle early in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, George Weasley's ear is cursed off by Snape. It is later revealed that Snape had been aiming at a Death Eater. When the Ministry of Magic falls to the Death Eaters just prior to the school year, Snape is named Headmaster of Hogwarts and appoints Death Eaters Amycus and Alecto Carrow to the staff, teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts (described by Neville Longbottom as just "The Dark Arts" now) and Muggle Studies, respectively. The novel later reveals that Snape uses his position as Headmaster to protect the students and to contain the Carrows.

In the course of the book, Harry and Ron are led to find the Sword of Godric Gryffindor by a patronus taking the form of a doe. Harry later learns that this was Snape's patronus, and that he had been tasked by Dumbledore with ensuring that Harry gained possession of the sword.

Towards the end of the school year, Professor McGonagall and two other teachers force Snape to flee the school. Voldemort summons Snape to the Shrieking Shack and, erroneously believing Snape is the master of the Elder Wand, betrays Snape and has his pet snake Nagini kill him. Snape, dying from his wounds, releases a cloud of memories which Harry collects in a flask and then views in the Pensieve in the Headmaster's office.

From these memories, Harry sees Snape's childhood and learns of his true loyalties. Harry observes that Snape befriended Lily Evans, Harry's mother, as a child when they lived near to each other. Upon their arrival at Hogwarts, the Sorting Hat placed Snape and Lily into Slytherin and Gryffindor Houses, respectively. They remained friends for the next few years until they were driven apart by Snape's interest in the Dark Arts and Lily's growing friendship with James Potter.

Despite this separation and Snape's loathing of Lily's eventual husband James Potter, who had bullied Snape at Hogwarts, Snape remained in love with Lily. When Snape told his master of the prophecy made by Sybill Trelawney, Voldemort decided to attack the Potters in an attempt to prevent its fulfillment. Though he asked Voldemort to spare Lily, Snape, still fearing for her safety, went to Dumbledore and begged him to protect the Potters. Dumbledore agreed and ensured that they were placed under the Fidelius Charm.

In return, Snape became a double agent for the Order of the Phoenix against Voldemort, using his powers of Occlumency to hide his betrayal from Voldemort. Snape felt responsible for Lily's death when the Fidelius charm was broken. Despite Harry's strong resemblance to James Potter, the fact that he was Snape's only enduring connection to Lily (and the fact that Harry inherited his mother's eyes) made Snape protect him throughout the series, despite their mutual animosity. Snape demanded of Dumbledore, however, that his love for Lily, his reason for switching sides, be kept a secret.

Dumbledore agreed, and kept the secret throughout the series. Snape's memories provide Harry with the information he needs to ensure Voldemort's final defeat, in the form of conversations Snape had with Dumbledore.

Rowling noted in an online interview that because Snape abandoned his post before dying or officially retiring, a portrait of him does not immediately appear in the Headmaster's office following his death. She adds, however, that she imagines Harry made Snape's true loyalty and heroism known in the Wizarding world, and that he lobbied to ensure that a portrait be installed in the office.

Snape's Headmaster portrait as envisioned by artist Aqvila. This is clearly a fraud, as there is no Magda on his lap.

(Sueniverse fanon has added that a portrait of Magda appeared somewhere in the castle as well, but rarely spent time in her own frame, preferring to sit on her lover's lap in his.)

In the epilogue to The Deathly Hallows, set 19 years after Harry defeated Voldemort, Harry's second born son has received the name Albus Severus, after Dumbledore and Snape. As Albus is about to enter his first year at Hogwarts, he expresses concern that he will be sorted into Slytherin. Harry tells him that he was "named after two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them [Snape] was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew."

According to Urban Dictionary, "Snape" is now a popular word to use to describe any hated teacher.

There was once a great deal of speculation that Snape was in fact a vampire. This was proven false, but in light of recent events on the Verse, it's amusing, isn't it?