Encyclopedia Marysuenica

Megan Renee Kroger is the self-insert alter ego of Suethor Megan. "Kroger" is not the real Megan's last name, but was chosen in reference to Uwe Kroger, a German actor she frequently refers to as her future husband. She is the mother of Pina.


Megan was, until recently, represented by actual photos of Megan the Suethor. This was changed to an image of Drew Barrymore, partly because of the ever-separating gap between the real Megan's personality and her insert's and partly because "she has some Turpin-related grossness coming up, and I don't want to attach an actual picture of myself to it".

Megan Kroger (Drew Barrymore)

She has light brown hair with bits of blonde that are often assumed to be artificial but aren't, greenish hazel eyes, and fair skin. Her hair is currently cut quite short.

An interesting and amusing sidenote to Megan's apperance on the Sueniverse is that, belying her avatar as well as the usual description of a Sue, she is usually depicted as somewhat chubby. Her original profile described her build as "big about the hips". This fact is often glossed over- James Norrington diplomatically refers to her as having a "figure like a Botticelli angel", and even Judge Turpin refers to her as "an unconventional beauty, the type who would have been celebrated by the Rennisance artists". Megan herself frequently worries about and is somewhat sensitive regarding her weight.


Megan Kroger was originally written as a somewhat obsessive "phangirl from Hell", desperate for Erik's affection, to the point of actually resorting to violence in an attempt at winning his favors. She spoke very frankly of her experience in acts she thought Erik would enjoy knowing she had performed but would likely disgust anyone else (such as the academic dissection of cadavers) and had no qualms whatsoever about proclaiming her love for him on a frequent- and embarassing- basis. Her Suethor referenced her inspiration as, among others, a combination of Harley Quinn and Mrs. Lovett.

As time has passed, Megan has become much more mature and self-reliant. She is incredibly devoted to her daughter, Pina. Her meta-knowledge has seemingly faded away- while she was completely aware of Snape and Erik, she has encountered James Norrington, Aziraphale, and Judge Turpin as someone who has never heard of any of them.

Early Days on the Verse[]

Megan arrived on the Verse by getting lost on a standard trip to Paris with her family. She went down into the cellars of the Opéra in an attempt at finding the subterreanean flat where Erik had once lived, and instead managed to somehow be swept back in time to Erik's lifetime, post-Phantom of the Opera. Upon meeting him, Megan gushed over her longtime phangirl crush on him, much to his confusion and displeasure, and ended up as his housekeeper/henchwoman.

Megan and Erik clashed almost immediately. He disliked her cheerful, optimistic and yet slightly unbalanced view of things, and she resented that someone who'd never received any love in his life would still unilaterally reject hers. Nevertheless, Megan offered to help him win Christine Daae's love by teaching him how to build a new face with makeup and prosthetics. Erik, in turn, raided the Opera's wardrobe department to find costumes for her to reuse as clothes.

Megan soon revealed herself to go far beyond the usual level of fangirlish devotion to Erik, nearly killing Raoul de Chagny. When Erik stopped her, claiming this was his job, Megan settled for stabbing her index finger though Raoul's eye and calmly wiping her hand on her apron. Erik was both impressed and slightly disturbed.

The Wish[]

Megan's biggest imapct on general Verse plot came when she acquired a fairy godmother, Nerida, who offered her one wish. Megan gave it some thought and made a fateful decision:

"I've made up my mind," she said softly. "I was going to ask you to make him love me... but I can't. I want him to be happy. So, Fairy Godmother... I want you to make Erik beautiful. Maybe he'll have a shot in hell of getting Christine back that way."

When Erik awoke afterward, he had been transformed into a double of a young Peter O'Toole. While at first he assumed that this was a trick concocted as a cruel joke by Megan and "that weasel Snape", Megan pinched the tip of his new nose to convince him it was real. Her explanation of what happened, and what followed, was this:

"I thought I'd rather just see you happy, and since that's not with me, I thought I'd give somebody else a shot at it."

Erik looked at her, as if for the first time. She had done this for him, with no thought for herself. The idea that she was like him murmured in the back of his mind. And suddenly he was overwhelmed with an uncontrollable urge; he bent forward, grasped the back of her head in one of his strong, bony fingers, and kissed her hungrily on the mouth.

For a moment, she was too stunned to move. She suddenly realized that being on the receiving end of an unexpected kiss was rather shocking after all, and her fingers spread stiffly with the force of her surprise.

Then, slowly, she came to, and her hands moved up and into his hair (his hair!, she realized), and she reciprocated with the force of years of adolescent dreaming to back it up.

The guilt came next, though, and she gently pulled away.

"No," she said. "I didn't do this for me, remember? Go to her, Erik. You can give her everything you wanted to now. You can take her out on Sundays and everything. You love her, and I'm just- just your maid."

Megan sadly let Erik go, thinking he would be able to live happily ever after with Christine. Instead, he proceeded to go about releasing several decades' worth of pressurized libido by sleeping with nearly everyone he could, with no more success at winning Christine than before. Depressed and angry, Megan developed a habit of sitting in the boat on the underground lake and doing nothing at all.

By around this time, Severus Snape had begun hanging around the cellars. Megan quickly put him to use as her personal slave, forcing him to provide her with clothes and cleaning services. Occasionally, the pair of them would quite suddenly and often simultaneously descend into utter depression at their lack of success in love and use one another as sounding boards. They developed something very close to a friendship, though neither one would ever admit it.

Erik Reciprocates. Briefly.[]

Erik returned shortly after a truly epic wangstfest between Megan and Snape. He expressed his delight with Megan's wish by offering to take her to dinner at a fine restaurant. Megan accepted his offer, and promptly made an embarassment of herself by wearing a short skirt, standing on the table at the restaurant, and performing the revenge ballad "Pirate Jenny" from The Threepenny Opera. Erik rushed her out of the restaurant. In the ensuing conversation, he offered to release her from her duties, but Megan replied that being his maid was "where [she] belong[ed]". Impressed by her acceptance of her rather unhappy lot in life, Erik kissed her again, and this time she put up no resistance. He brought her to his home, kissing her repeatedly along the way and asking if she would have allowed him to do it had he still had his old face. Megan reassured him that yes, she loved him no matter what, and the two of them ended up making love in the boat on the lake.

It was Megan's first time. Shortly afterward, she discovered she was pregnant.

Motherhood, Julian and James[]

In spite of Erik's protests over bringing a baby with a chance of looking like he once had into the world, Megan gave birth to a daughter she named Proserpina Renee Kroger, called Pina for short. As Erik had feared, Pina was born hideously disfigured, though with considerably better hair than her father. Megan loved her regardless, and Pina became the joy of her life.

Around the same time as Megan falling pregnant, something unusual had happened to Erik- his body was used as an entrance to this world by a being from another dimension. This being was "born" fully grown, with adult consciousness, and was named Julian. Megan developed an immediate dislike of him, which he returned while simultaneously making her feel extremely sexually threatened. Erik and Julian began an unusual sexual relationship, and Megan was once again left on the sidelines. She poured all of her energy into tending to Pina, occasionally venturing outside the cellars with her and eventually being cast as Fantine in Micaela Heekin's operatic version of Les Miserables.

It was around this time that Megan first encountered Admiral James Norrington, who was in Paris for a short vacation. She literally stumbled into him in the Opera foyer, and he immediately fell in love with her. Megan, however, barely logged away the meeting in her memory at all.

James and Megan met again five years later, by which time Pina had become a small child. He was much more forward in admitting his feelings for her this time, and Megan's gradual misgivings about Erik finally erupted in her accepting a ride from James. The result was her falling into his arms, crying, and eventually a kiss between the two. They became secret lovers, although Megan was still living with Erik. James gave Megan a promise ring, and Megan gave him a lock of her hair, tied with a ribbon from her garter.

Megan eventually decided to leave Erik (to go live with James) and take Pina with her. Erik, terrified of losing his daughter, reacted in the only way he could think of. He drugged Megan unconscious and had her committed to Charenton Lunatic Asylum, under the pretense of being his ill young wife.

The Asylum and Afterward[]

Megan endured a horrifying year in the asylum, during which she was abused and starved. She struck up a friendship with another inmate, Renfield, and initially maintained hope that someone would come and rescue her, so that she could see her daughter and her lover once again. Her heart had now hardened almost irreversibly against Erik. The final blow occurred when Fogg cut off most of her hair, the physical feature of which Megan had been the most proud. She indeed descended into a sort of hopeless madness, until a man calling himself Sherlock Holmes arrived and released her.

She discovered after that that her hair had been sold to a wigmaker, and that Holmes had used the small lock she had given James to match and locate her. James, it turned out, had fallen into a drink-and-opium-ridden depression in her absence. Neither one of them seemed to really be the same person they had each fallen in love with, but it didn't matter. Just minutes after being reunited with her, James asked Megan to marry him, and she accepted.

Current activities[]

Megan is currently preparing for her wedding, with help from her friend Micaela Heekin (now Mrs. Maxim de Winter) and sweet-gay-British-avuncular advice from Aziraphale.

Megan's current avatar.

She and Erik have reached an uneasy truce as far as Pina as concerned. However, a large sense of danger looms over all of this, because Megan has also aroused the lust of Judge Turpin, and he intends to have her for himself, no matter what.